Yeah, it's a great movie, but it's still bad.

Remember the good old day? When men where men and the women loved them for it. How about those old movies that you grew up on? You know the ones. The horror films that scared you as a child, or the comedy that just made you laugh till you farted? Yeah, those where the good old days….or where they?

Nostalgia. We’re all a victim of it in some manner. We all love to look back and remember the things we loved fondly as children, but the problem is, things are seldom how we remember them. Growing up,I was an 80’s child, like so many out there, so of course I would remember the 80’s in all it’s low tech, synthesized, B movie glory; too bad the 80’s sucked. I mean think about it, all the main cartoons for us boys, G.I. Joe, Transformers, He-Man, Thundercats, were nothing more then half hour commercials, and it wasn’t any better for girls; Rainbow Brite, Strawberry Shortcake, My Little Pony, Jem. Wait 'till those become movies, oh, they’re coming back through television.

The music of the 80’s wasn’t any better (even though I do have 80’s music on my Zune) they were like awkward teenage years. We had barely survived the 70’s disco and the coolness of the 90’s was still way off, so we experimented and ended up having Boy George and Wham!. The brown acid must have still been in our system.

Then, we had the movies, good Lord the movies. Now, this problem isn’t just with the 80’s, you can easily throw in movies from the 70’s and 60’s in this. Remembering movies fondly isn’t a bad thing, Lord knows I do, the bad thing is when you think that movie is better then what it is. Nostalgia warps your view into thinking things like the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Dawn of the Dead were better then the remakes or that Taxi Drive was two of the greatest films of all time. I say “two” because that movie changes story halfway though. Yeah, yeah I know, “that’s just the genius of it” well, wrong. That’s just bad storytelling from someone who was doing way too many drugs at the time. Too bad he didn’t overdose then maybe we could have been spared from his other shitty films. Nostalgia makes you think that the Japanese Godzilla is better then the American Godzilla, which it isn’t. It kills me when people say this, "The older ones have a better story." Did you actually watch those films? Every Godzilla story was shit, I know, I watched them all. I’m a huge fan of the O.G. but I understand that ours was superior in all forms. The special FX, the story (while not great by any stretch of the imagination, it was better then any of the Japanese ones), the acting, you name it and it was better. But, people grew up with the old rubber suit and so that’s what they love.

I love old movies. I love bad movies. But, I understand that they are bad, and that’s all I’m asking for. Love your bad movie, remember it affectionately, hold it close and show it to your friends. Bask in its awfulness, but in the end, understand that your bad movie is a bad movie.

-TuxedoKatsGeorge